Can you love your spouse and still have an affair? The answer painfully is yes. Oddly enough you can love your spouse and still do something that hurts them, that causes such trauma. How is that possible one asks? The answer is because the ?cheater? is not thinking about the person they care about, they selfishly are just thinking about themselves, in that moment and how the other person and the interactional dynamic is making them feel. For a person who would never have an affair, it is hard for them to fathom how a person can love and yet hurt him/her. It is hard for that person to understand how you can love a person and not take their feelings into account. Although, I do believe when you are feeling ?in love? ?- that kind of love is less likely a time when even a person who is of the type to likely have an affair, may not. When meeting with couples who have been wounded by such a blast, time and time again, it is so confusing for the spouse who has been cheated on to imagine how their spouse could love and still have?committed?this act of?adultery since it is such an unloving thing to do, to put it mildly.
Love is different for each person, and there are those of whom can love their spouse and still hurt that person deeply. Having great character, high moral standards, awareness of how your actions impact those around you, holding a philosophy of?monogamy, choosing to be in control of one?s thoughts, feelings, and thus actions, thinking before acting ? these are all in sync with not having an affair. Having an affair is a choice which is destructive and hurtful to more than just the spouse or significant other you cheated on. If there are kids involved it hurts them. And guess what ? it wounds the marital bond.
During my LIVE radio interview on August 1st with Scoot on The Tommy Tucker Show for WWL ? AM/FM, (this show is based in New Orleans) we covered during a 30 minute block a wide range of important topics under the main header of: Relationship Cheating AKA Affairs. What prompted this interview? What else of course- a hot topic in the news as of late which is that actress Kristen Stewart had an affair with her director Rupert Sanders. Kristen was not married to Robert Pattinson, but an affair nevertheless.
Taking Points Explored During The Interview
- Double standard when it comes to women versus men having an affair
- Getting over an affair
- Why it is not uncommon for the person who is cheated on to be angry at the ?other woman? or the ?other man? rather than the focus being on their anger at their spouse
- Swinging, Polyamory
- The 5 personality traits that increases the likelihood your partner will be a cheater at some point in your relationship
- #1 Type of job that increases the likelihood cheating will occur
- 6 Signs that your spouse either has, is, or will cheat ? being armed with this information can help you to take action as the spouse to prevent a potential affair
- And More . . .
If you would like to hear this interview and learn more about Cheating and Affairs, as well as my tips and strategies to have a successful and happy marital relationship, this interview is available on demand. If you wish to purchase my book Dr. Karen?s Marriage Manual, which goes into further detail about affair prevention, healthy marital communication techniques,?strategies for a happy marriage that you can begin immediately with proven adults, I welcome your interest ? an autographed copy is available when purchased through this website.
Written by Dr. Karen Ruskin
Follow Dr. Karen on Twitter or Facebook. Media Psychotherapist Guest Expert; Relationships, Parenting, Hot Topics In The News. Appears on: The O'Reilly Factor, FOX & Friends, FOX & Friends FIRST, America Live, Hannity, regular go-to for FOX Boston, and more. Can be heard on Radio: FOX News, 96.9 Boston Talks, and more. Columnist, quoted in various print media: FOX Business, Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Care.com, USA Today, Parents, TIME, Woman's Day, and more. Owner/Director of Dr. Karen Ruskin & Associates, Inc. Based in Massachusetts. Author of: 9 Key Techniques For Raising Respectful Children and Dr. Karen's Marriage Manual. Copyright 2012.
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